also members of my family have ruined it over the years, mainly my nan when she was here and my mum can be very up and down (i think that's where i get my bi-polar from), and that coupled with the fact i am single this christmas for the first time in years, i can honestly say i'm really not looking forward to it.
the only person to ever make me feel christmassy was my ex. he would jump out of bed on christmas day, make breakfast then rush back to bed to open presents. it was one of the most heart warming things to watch. he made me feel christmassy. christmas with him was always the best. we had beautiful fresh (and my first ever real) trees from his mum and dad who grew them. that smell of pine was the epitome of christmas, and the hundreds of scratches over my hands as i carefully placed decorations on it, was worth it. we never had a lot of money, but we always made sure we ate well and had lovely food over the holidays. he would spend the day with his family, me with mine, and we would meet up in the afternoon and head back to our home to spend an evening together, munching on roast gammon, an assortment of cheeses, crackers, chutneys, mince pies and anything else we could get our hands on. when i think of christmas, i think of him. and that is why this year is going to be so hard for me. i never envisioned on spending christmas alone. this year would have marked 9 months in our new home, hopefully work on the bedroom complete, and we would have settled in.
instead, i am crammed with four other people, cat and a dog in a two bedroom cottage.
and in spite of all this, i have made an extra effort to make my room into a christmas grotto. not only is it an excuse to pick up a few cheap bits to accessorise, hopefully it will help me into feeling a bit more christmassy. here's a few snaps of things around my room i've put up and decorated with.
i can not believe it's december already.
